I’m gonna say this one more time b/c of this text conversation that I’m having. Yall ain’t gotta agree and I’m cool if you don’t….
But if you can’t afford to court somebody, don’t pursue them.
For me, that’s non negotiable.
I’m not getting involved in nann ‘notha relationship where I’m taking care of somebody or always pulling out my card for the date.
The LAST person who knew what it meant to take care of their girlfriend was a person I dated over 10 years ago. TEN years.
You ladies are outchea letting those who wanna get with you get away with TOO much, while offering very little. So when you finally decide to let them go and put them back out into the world, they come HERE thinking shit’s sweet when it’s not.
I’m not trying to sit at home with you while you work on a come up. It’s one thing if you’re working towards a goal and can still at least afford to take your girl to the movies. It’s another ball game if you constantly don’t have and want me to sit at home while you think about it.
Harsh? Maybe. But I’m coming up on 34 years old. If I can afford to at LEAST take you to Pappadeaux without eye’ing the menu or telling you that you have a “limit,” damn it, I want the same.
I’m not rich. I don’t gold dig. Matter fact, I’ll never ask you for shit.
But if I didn’t learn anything from my deddy many moons ago, I DID learn (and keep close to my heart) that his daughters deserved to be treated like ladies.
Long gone are the days when people do “little” things for the people they are interested in or even love. Yall so quick to get comfortable and forget all about the important things that matter when it comes to keeping a relationship strong. No, “dates” aren’t ALL it takes but it does count towards a good percentage. Don’t ask me to satisfy even an enth of your needs if you can’t satisfy mine. Yes, I’m ‘selfish’ like that.
Courting doesn’t have to include buying bags, going on major shopping sprees, or taking lavish trips. I don’t even do or OWN anything designer. Buy me a purse from Target and I swear I wouldn’t know the difference. I’m a very, VERY simple girl and extremely easy to please. You ain’t gotta spend your whole check on a G, but damn, can you take a mufucka to the movies and maybe dinner? Can we go paint and sip some wine? Can we go to six flags or go play paint ball? Can we do ANY of this without me ALWAYS having to come out of pocket?
If the answer is NO, you. are. NOT. the. one. for ME.
Find you another girl to date b/c I’m done dating potential. Sorry but I ain’t sorry.
Spending the rest of my night working on some things for my next project and listening to music. For two days straight, I’ve been in a Brandy coma…listening to all of her oldest music. She’s a ridiculously underrated vocalist, and a LOT of people don’t want to give her props on how awesome her voice is because they’re busy comparing her to other artists. Not fair.
Anyway, I’m sitting here listening to Put That on Everything (album: Never Say Never) on repeat. Even though I’m KNOWN for flubbing lyrics, I can understand her perfectly. In this song, she talks about doing the impossible for someone who clearly has her heart wrapped in a nice bow and tucked in his pocket. As I’m listening to the lyrics, I began to think.
I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone on some Brandy, Put That on Everything type shit. Not sure if I want to. That’s a lot.
I’ve definitely been in love before. I’ve definitely loved someone because it was the comfortable thing to do, at the moment. It was more comfortable to love them than not. But on Put That on Everything type stuff? Never ever experienced that.
During the endings of my relationships, I think w/MOST (not all), I hurt because I was losing that comfort & not because I was losing the person.
Does that make sense? In SOME cases when I wanted to go back to them, it was because I wasn’t comfortable with finding someone else or being alone.
I’m definitely going to expound on this a bit in a with love, Jia newsletter. It brings to mind a few questions…
Are we afraid to love?
Just how much are you willing to submit, for the purpose of a put that on everything kinda love?
Are we capable of being alone?
to be continued……
…a solicitation for prostitution from firstname.lastname@example.org
And ‘your’ should be ‘tour’
I don’t ever really take the opportunity to post things like this…mainly b/c it happens SO infrequently that there’s no real point. But here we are, almost 8 years later (I wrote it wrong in the email), and folks are STILL invading my inbox, soliciting services from my former self.
Image via Black Media Scoop
Out of habit, I tuned in for another episode of Being Mary Jane. Face palm throughout.
Ladies, please don’t let her “being #2 gets all the glory” speech get to your head.
Loyalty is more than just a word that you sound out with your mouth. It’s an action that I’ve found means far more than anything audible to the ears. Saying it doesn’t mean shit. It never has. But it’s arguably one of the most overused words that people rarely understand the meaning of. Or maybe people get it, but just don’t care.
‘Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.’
Before a couple years ago, I had never heard this quote before. As many of you know, I have somewhat of an unsavory past that includes a lot of drugs, tons of drinking, and even a stint in the adult industry. I remember talking to a really good friend of mine and feeling as though I had nothing to live for…as though I’d never have the opportunity to do anything with myself because I temporarily bent the needle on my moral compass. As I’m crying and asking myself ‘how could you be so stupid,’ she offered me that quote. Initially, I was taken aback like ‘Hey, girl…you calling me a sinner?’ Defiling and giving my body away could indeed be considered ‘sinful,’ but I had to take in the context of what she said instead of looking at it literally or as an insult. After having that conversation, I put myself on a mission. Even though I literally had a ‘friend’ of mine ask me ‘Well, what else are you gonna do? You might as well continue on in that life because it’s pretty much curtains for you from here on out,’ I was determined to prove her and everyone else wrong.