Would you rather remain friends with someone because you chose to kept your mouth closed as you watched them spiral out of control or risk losing them b/c you expressed an opinion that they needed to hear that could potentially save their life/reputation?
Read THIS. More to come…
I would definitely tell them how I feel. I would do it in the most tactful way possible in order to try & save the friendship. it would hurt me more to not say anything about their behavior & watch them decline.
I could never watch a friend spiral out of control without out saying something. Friendship, and relationships in general, are built upon communication. If one can’t openly communicate their feelings, and thoughts with the other (tactfully) without fear of reprecussion, then the relationship aint worth shit to begin with. In the past I had a Best friend who was constantly being self destructive. I did all that I could do, because she was worth it. Sometimes though, your efforts will be fruitless. That doesn’t mean that you shouldnt try.
I would like to think I would actually do the latter, but I can’t say I actually would. I do believe that expressing the opinion that may cause you to lose them would be the right thing to do, especially if it causes a change in their life. I believe that really loving and caring about someone means that you do what it takes to see them safe, even if it means “losing” them temporarily (or permanently).
I’d risk losing them, because I cannot sit by idly and watch someone I love lose him/herself. I’ve lost a great friendship because of this. She was getting married for all of the wrong reasons (and the guy was questionable.) ALL of her friends were speaking negatively about it, but I was the only one to talk to her about it. Of course, she called me jealous (and everything else along that line.) I didn’t attend the wedding. She was nothing but miserable, separated withing a couple of months, divorced within a year. She has reached out to me since, but the friendship will never be the same. I was just trying to help.
I’d rather take a risk. Trust and believe, losing can go both ways. You can lose your friendship doing the right thing or lose your friend forever by being silent.
I’d have to take that risk. Shoot I’ve had a friend tell me to get it together and that she would not deal with me until I did so and it made me wake up. If you really love a person, you cannot sit back and watch them self-destruct and not say anything about it.
I would rather risk losing them instead of lying or omitting the truth. A true friend will tell you what’s on their mind and heart. There are too many people walking around w/ “Yes Men” and not enough real friends.
If I feel at the time that I want to say it, that they are not ready to or I am risking the friendship then I would wait for a moment that it may be more of a chance for them to take in what I am saying. I definetely wouldnt want a friend in need to feel like I am “against” them and leave b/c then I would REALLY be worried.
I had to take that risk, but it was after I let the spiral go too far. I held my tongue out of fear of losing the friendship, for I knew how things would go down if I said how I felt. He preferred a friend that went along with everything, he was that friend. But I am a true believer that if you really love and care for someone you will tell them something that they need to hear, regardless of how bad it hurts. I lost my friend, and I know in my heart it was a combination of the waiting to speak, and the realness of what I said. However, if it can help him get it together and be the man and the father he needs to be, then it was worth the loss.
idk… didnt read the entire entry yet. but!!! i thought you updated your tagline thingy everyday but you actually have an automated type thing for everytime someone refreshes the page it shows a different phrase!! thats tight!!! back to the vma’s bye!!
Thats a toughie. Watching a friend spiral out of control eats away at me because I take on their stress as my own. I wont have peace of mind until I said something.
I’d express myself. True friends know where your heart is. Even if it’s something they don’t want to hear, sooner or later they’ll realize what you’re saying is coming from love.
This is a hard one. If it’s just an opinion you want to state, say it. Anyone that would disown you over an OPINION isn’t worth it anyway. HOWEVER, if you are stating this opinion and the person will feel judged, don’t do it. People have the right to make decisions for themselves, even if it is destructive or wrong. You, as a friend, should leave them the right to make that choice. You do NOT have to support the decision, but you can support THEM in whatever decision they make. Support them, that will shine through. Sounds like they need it.