You Can’t Please Everybody…

*slaps forehead* Boy, oh boy…I tell you, people are never satisfied. Never.

Alright, back in 2004 when I created my first (personal) blog, I spent a lot of time complaining about the way my life was b/c during that time, I was in a shitty relationship and needed some place to voice my opinions. I didn’t really add a lot of “myself” in it b/c I didn’t see the need to be more personal when I was already shining light on why I was being stupid in staying in a relationship that wasn’t working. Since then, I’ve maintained a blog in some fashion and have always found it better to just be myself b/c I didn’t really know “how” to act like anybody else.

2007, I started on Youtube while still maintaining a personal blog. Got up to 500 subscribers and thought “How neat?” Then another 500 and another until I reached where I am now. People started pulling me in all types of directions but I remained focused and steady. I enjoy what I do on Youtube (and I swear I’m making another video soon) so I didn’t mind.

And now…I started about a year or so ago using a random screen name (in other words, NOTHING that would indicate that I am “me”) and commented on a lot of the blogs that many of you would read. Only a handful knew that it was me and I always wanted to keep it anonymous to separate myself from Youtube when I was making a comment. A friend said “Girl, you should start an entertainment blog,” and so I did. I don’t feel one way or the other about it b/c IMO, it’s just a blog that happens to take up a lot of time and work that I wasn’t really prepared for but I’ve stuck with it and am now reaping some of the rewards that come with being an entertainment blogger.

With the advent of Twitter, people get to see more of my personality. I mean, you get to “see” me on Youtube, you get to “feel” me on my personal blog, you get a dose of what I’m like when I comment on the entertainment blog and Twitter allows you to see parts of me, one tweet at a time. In my reality, I say what I want, when I feel like saying. I don’t purposely try to be crass or tactless. I don’t try to hurt people’s feelings or be rude…I’m just me. I am quick to tell anyone that I’m “not for everybody,” and I have (or at least I thought I have) managed to maintain who I was when people were first introduced to me on the net.

One thing that I can’t stand is when somebody says “You’ve changed,” but fail to provide an example as to how or why they’ve come to this conclusion. To simply “say” it means shit to me…show me where I’ve changed in your eyes. There are certain bloggers/youtubers who I could easily name and give you a thousand reasons why I don’t watch their videos or read their blog anymore. The keyword is “reasons.” But for someone to imply that a person has changed all because they now have an even bigger platform outside of blogging and Youtube to showcase their real self is absurd.

I keep telling myself that you can’t please everybody b/c that is just the reality. People get mad when you don’t respond quickly to their emails, or if you don’t do the video idea that they have in mind, or if you don’t post things on your blog the way they want you to. In other words, you’re pulled in a million directions and rather than respect the fact that you’re at least trying to maintain sane and have some type of consistency in your personality, they want to go “off” because they failed to see who you were from the beginning. I have a few people that I am mad close with in my inner circle and I have always said that if I get to the point where I am nothing like what you knew me to be from the door, please cut me down to size. Please let ME know. I don’t knock bloggers and Youtubers who “choose” to be a personality type. That’s their choice. But MY choice is to be Jia b/c I don’t know how to keep up with being one person for the blog but another when you meet me in person.

And what kills me even more are the ones who have “subtle” complaints (even though I totally “see” you) about who you are…yet they’re always on your personal blog (IP address, much), always on your entertainment blog (see the previous), always commenting or favoriting your Youtube vids and NOW, following you on Twitter…only to go ELSEWHERE and complain that you just aint the “you” they assumed you to be. Well, your bad for assuming, honey.

I have had my fair share of fall outs with folks online due to conflicting personalities. I can (and have) even admit that I have been wrong in shooting the dagger and going HAM on someone who may have at the time (at least in MY eyes) deserved it. But the one thing I don’t like or need is someone telling me that I am not “me” and failing to provide me with anything that points out how it is so. And no, I’m not referring to a blogger…at least not one that many of you would know.

So here’s my thing…If you’re reading this, if you’re out there…if you watch my Youtube videos, if you check out my blog(s), if follow me on Twitter but just “hate” me, why are you there? If I ‘fail’ to meet whatever expectation you have of me, STOP VISITING MY SHIT! The concept is simple. I absolutely appreciate all the support that I get on EVERYTHING that I’ve managed to create but don’t bother “supporting” me if that support will be trailed with “Well, I feel she’s like _______” type comments. That makes you look pathetic and bipolar. Take your meds.

I am me, dude…I’m smart, I have goals, I’m sassy, I don’t pull any punches, no holding of the tongue, over (and under) sexed, comedic, crazy, etc., etc., etc. Some (or all) of these things are a nuisance to some but from where I stand, I’m just being who I am. Realizing that I can’t make everybody happy, I just stick to what I know. And for some, that won’t be the best. It just MIGHT be the most ridiculous thing in the world but hey…You can take it or leave it. Your approval is not required.

  • MrsDMarley/Mirnsy

    Go ‘head Jia. I feel you on this blog post. You can’t be anyone else but yourself. Keep doing you, keep being YOU.

  • iolastar

    Well dayuuuum tell em how you really feel lol. Keep smiling, keep doing you. Like you said you ain’t for everybody. Who knew that blogging could generate so much fuss good lawd.

  • lovelyti

    excellent article you are absolutely right!
    you can not please everyone, people are fickle
    i feel you have been the same chick since i 1st ran across you on youtube, you were one of the 1st and few people i sub too,you keep it real and make no apologies for who you are.

    girl keep your head up
    some folks are just phony and jealous
    they want to do what your doing,
    but they don’t have the drive or gumption,
    so they try and knock your hustle.
    another thing folks take twitter to damn seriously,if you don’t like someone’s tweets UNFOLLOW!!folks act like it’s a hard thing to do.

  • Luv2bme

    You know how I feel Jia…keep doing you. As long as somebody don’t like it, you are doing something right! It is what it is.

  • Domgirl

    I’ve learned when ppl say that, it’s always something about you that they wish they had (i.e. progressing in life). Plus, haters have a quota they gotta meet each day…if they don’t meet it they will DIE, lol! But it is def easier and better to always be you, cuz everybody won’t love you, but the ppl who matter most will no matter what :)

  • Ashley

    jia u are absolutly the bomb

  • andsanp

    you’re right, you cant please everybody. but you do please everybody else! lol
    keep doing you!

  • MizPhatty

    I can’t speak for the rest of ‘em but to me realness is why I follow you on Twitter & sub. on YT. Why would anybody want to read a personal blog or see one of your YT videos and see fake. That’s what the movies and TV is for, right?