I think that all of us had “something” from our teenage years that we did that our parents REALLY blew up about. You might’ve been making bad grades, cutting up in class, not doing your chores, sneaking out, smoking…you did SOMETHING.

Well mine involved a guy (hahah no surprises there). For the sake of nosy eyes everywhere, we’ll call this guy “Jack.” I met Jack when I was 14 years old. I remember one day, he came to school to pick up his girlfriend (Oh, did I mention he was 19?). I saw him and thought “GOT DAMN he’s fine as hell.” I remember spending all this time trying to find out who he was, where he was from, blah blah blah. I even had my homegirls buddying up with ole girl just to get even more information and oddly enough, she was open.

One day, a couple of us decided to skip school and she was included in the bunch. We all went to this guys house and basically watched BET ALL day and killed his mama’s koolaid (it was VERY innocent, trust me). About an hour or two into the the shindig, Jack showed up. I remember my homegirl nudging me like “Uh oh girl..he IS fine! There he go, there he go.” That whole day, he was giving me serious eye contact. I mean…as we would say back in the day, dude was “clocking” me. We were all about to go home and as the “happy” couple walked out to his car, I remember him giving me this crazy smile and driving off. About 5 minutes after he pulled off in his car, one of my guy friends came up to me and said “Here…that dude told me to give you this.”

It was his number….

I called all my girls and asked them if they thought I should give him a call. Of course, they all said yes. So one night, I went to spend the night with my grandmother. She NEVER cared how long I was on the phone or who I was talking to…as long as I didn’t touch her TV, she was straight. I dialed the # and quickly discovered that it was a pager. I left him my number and within 10 minutes, he hit me back. To be quite honest with you, the conversation was very innocent. Extremely. Come to think about it, we were both fairly corny. After talking for about two hours, he tells me that he has to go b/c he has to work the next day. Somehow, I mustered up the courage to ask “So what do you see in her?”

“Huh,” he said.

“I mean…she’s not cute. So what do you see in her? I’m curious.”

And it was a dead silence for a good three minutes. I remember thinking that I TOTALLY tested this dudes gangsta. He’s never gonna talk to me again! But he spoke up and said “Good question. I’ll break up with her if I can date you.” POW! And it was a wrap! OMG!

Next thing I know, he’s picking me up from school…I’m sneaking to the movies to see him. We NEVER EVER EVER had sex. EVER. We dated for several months until one day when I was at the movies, one of my dad’s friends saw me. I already KNEW what it was. The next day when I got home from school, my dad called me in the room. Within 24 fucking hours, my dad had his first and last name, his home number and even knew where the fuck he lived! Yea..it was NOT cool growing up with a dad in the military who was very well connected. He gave me the cordless phone and said “Call him now and tell him its over. You’re way too young to date.”

Little did my dad know…Jack and I worked out a plan so that IF I was ever caught, I could page him and put in two zeros (we were so corny…it stood for “uh oh”). Then I called his phone and said “I cant see you again. My dad….” and my dad snatched the phone out of my hand. He goes IN on dude and tells him that his daughter is “only 14″ and asks “what kind of man are you to want a 14 year old.” Blah…next thing I know, Jack said “Fuck you” and hung up the phone. I knew then that it was REALLY over.

Well fast forward to college years. I began to wonder where he was and what he was up to. Yes, he disrespected the hell out of my dad by even fixing his lips to curse at him but curiosity really got the best of me. I didn’t grow up with a well connected, investigative father and learn nothing. So I began researching and found out that he went into the army. He was stationed in Germany. I got his mailing information and wrote him a letter (LOL at ‘writing’….that’s so ancient). I remember telling him that I was in college at that point, asked him how I was doing and sent him a picture. I was extremely crunk when he wrote me back and sent a military photo of himself. He was still fine as fuck…chocolate with really dark curly hair, big white teeth…about 6′1. Just beautiful.

After exchanging a few letters, he expressed an interest in getting to know me again. Oddly enough, I kinda started to feel the same way. I wrote him and told him “Yea…we can get to know one another…see what happens.” The letter that he sent back is what showed me that you don’t do dirty shit where other people’s men are involved b/c it NEVER ends well.

He said “Well, if we’re going to try this at all, I have to tell you two things.” Let me give a teeny bit of a background. During the time that Jack and I dated when I was 14, I introduced him to a girl that I was REALLY good friends with. We’d spend the night at each other’s house, hang out, write notes in school…the works. Considering that she was my homegirl, I took NO issues with introducing them.

Come to find out…he slept with her WHILE we were dating. Oh and wait…it gets worse. He also met some of my family members b/c that side of my family is a trip. They don’t care what you do and all of your ’secrets’ are safe unless you piss them off. Dude slept with my cousin AND one of my aunts. LMAO!

I wrote him back and told him that while I DO respect him for being honest, he just taught me a valuable lesson. The way that you get a man could be the same way that you lose him. Even though I didn’t have any real obligation to ole girl from school b/c we weren’t friends, I still had a “silent” obligation to her as a woman, as another human being. I violated her relationship by suggesting that he let her go…he turned around and did the same shit to me.

OH and did I mention that he has a baby by my cousin? Yea…

I can laugh at it now but obviously then, it wasn’t funny. I learned a lesson that I’ll absolutely carry with me for the rest of my life….keep your hands to yourself.