I think that with any type of work that you do in life, there’s always room for you to be boxed into a category that usually starts with “you people always….” (and add some stereotypical nod here). Although it seems that you shouldn’t have to say it, people should know that everybody’s focus is not the same.

For those who are just now getting to know a little about me, I started blogging back in 2004. Initially, I used blogging as a way to vent about my relationship…and dream of just being happy. That relationship went sour really quickly but we continued living with one another. Every time I tried to ‘write’ down my feelings, he would always take issue with it…throwing my journals and notebooks away b/c he KNEW that contents within them were all about him.

Fast forward to now. I guess you can say that I blog for a living. I don’t have another job, no other source of income. I pay for my own “benefits,” I’m in charge of my own 401k/retirement plan/Christmas egg etc. And while everyone does want their blog to do well, not EVERYONE’s goal is to gain fame from blogging.

I’ve learned to ignore what people say b/c for the most part, people are speaking from an ill informed point. They assume that because THIS person is doing something a particular way, ALL bloggers are doing the same. For a while, I contemplated getting a publicist. I thought about getting a brand manager and a regular manager. I thought that those were the things that I would need to take my blog to the next level. And while I haven’t totally thrown ANY of those ideas out, I really questioned myself and said…do you REALLY want to be blogging, say…5 or 10 years from now? And when I didn’t see myself sitting at the epicenter of all things blogging, I knew that I had to find something a bit more fulfilling.

Don’t get me wrong…I truly enjoy blogging. I love celebrity dirt, I love creating my own hours, I love working from home with no real boss to speak of. I dictate my day to day activities. If I don’t “feel” like working, I have that option. If I want to take a vacation or just have lunch with friends, I don’t have a ‘clock’ to punch out of. But 10 years from now, I would hope that at 40 years old, celebrities and their life won’t be a forethought in my own.

For years, I’ve been called an idea girl. I’ve always had the ability to listen to what someone ‘hoped’ to create from mini ideas that they’ve had in their head and come up with a bigger idea or better way for them to present it so that it would sell. I never knew that what I did for all those years had an actual title. I never knew that people made money for that; I just thought I was little Miss Concept. Either or, I think that I’ve finally figured out what direction I want to take my life in. Yea, I’ll still continue to blog (until it gets tired for me). Yes, I’d still like to put out my tees and other clothing items. Yes, I’d still love to write my book. But I also want to gift the world with some of the other creativity I have brewing in this big ass head of mine. I go for what I want.

Either or, some people should be a little more careful when they speak about a group of people. Everybody’s goals are not the same. People don’t have the same drive or focus. Even if we are all slaving away at the same thing, everybody’s bottom line is not always the same. Some people crave the spotlight. Some people want to rub elbows with a bunch of famous people and have celebrity friends. But there are several of us who don’t desire those things and have no issue with just being a normal person who happens to have a blog.

There are times when I hate that I have an online presence. I’m sure my ‘haters’ are reading this like “Girl, your delusions of grandeur are hilarious.” And you’re absolutely entitled to feel that. But I know that my presence is real…and that presence makes folks want to know way too much about you. They want to know who you’re dating, where you live, what your family looks like, etc. And although I tend to refer to myself as an open book, there are huge parts of me that has dreams of being able to erase every trace of me from the web and have the ability to be someone that only ‘friends’ know. THIS is why I know that being a “big” celebrity blogger just may not be for me. I feel that I’ve given enough of myself and although I don’t have the option of removing anything, I do have the option of pulling back just a little. Again, everybody’s focus isn’t the same.

And because my focus isn’t the same as your favorites’, all of this thought that I’ve had over the past couple weeks/months lets me know that maybe someday, I will be working in a regular office again. As long as I’m doing something fulfilling that allows me to be as free and creative as possible, I won’t rule out the possibility.

Just know that my goal isn’t to be famous. My goal is to be happy with my bills paid b/c at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Pure & complete happiness.