Archive of ‘Just Blogging’ category

the fuck is WRONG with you?

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Still up doing some work and writing down these ideas for the Deactivated Fat Girl app that’s being created. I usually have even MORE issues sleeping when I have something on my mind.

A few newsletters ago (via With love, Jia), I mentioned something about how awful it must be to live a life where you’re guarded and untrusting of people. I am not trying to paint myself the perfect person, but far too often, I have been told by MANY people that I’m too nice to people and a lot of times that “niceness” clouds my better judgment. For the sake of keeping peace or not hurting anyone’s feelings, I tend to bite my tongue until one person after the next speaks up and says, “Jia…hello?”

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this goes out to you…and you….

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‘Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.’

Before a couple years ago, I had never heard this quote before. As many of you know, I have somewhat of an unsavory past that includes a lot of drugs, tons of drinking, and even a stint in the adult industry. I remember talking to a really good friend of mine and feeling as though I had nothing to live for…as though I’d never have the opportunity to do anything with myself because I temporarily bent the needle on my moral compass. As I’m crying and asking myself ‘how could you be so stupid,’ she offered me that quote. Initially, I was taken aback like ‘Hey, girl…you calling me a sinner?’ Defiling and giving my body away could indeed be considered ‘sinful,’ but I had to take in the context of what she said instead of looking at it literally or as an insult. After having that conversation, I put myself on a mission. Even though I literally had a ‘friend’ of mine ask me ‘Well, what else are you gonna do? You might as well continue on in that life because it’s pretty much curtains for you from here on out,’ I was determined to prove her and everyone else wrong.

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chairs aren’t meant to stand on three legs

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One of the good things about reflecting on past mistakes in previous years is that it allows you the opportunity to (hopefully) learn from your experiences. Over the years, I’ve become notorious for being a ‘help’ nut. I want to see people happy and successful, so I do whatever’s necessary (and within my abilities/reason) to ensure that. But none of this is about me and what I do. Instead I want to talk about what many DON’T do and why that missing factor is important in your own development.

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reminding yourself of your worth

I’ve been bullshittin’ this entire weekend. No joke. Beyoncé came through and basically made me say fuck every single plan I had. I got zero work done. I didn’t get to mark a thing off my to do list. Did I mention my lease is up in approximately 30 days and I have no idea where I’m going? Oh.

But earlier today, I received a text from someone that I consider quite special asking me to give them a reminder. I saw the text as soon as I woke up, and thought to myself “Surely, I’ve written about this before.” I searched this blog from my phone for keywords and such to see if I could find something to serve as a reminder. No dice. Got on my laptop and tried to search again. Nothing. I KNOW that I’ve written about this somewhere, but I haven’t been able to find it yet. Nonetheless, I figured that she (and maybe someone else) could use this word so…here goes.

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what’s uncomfortable?

Since the time I first made tracks on the web (I’m thinking about 98, 99?), I’ve always had somewhat of a presence. No, this presence wasn’t rooted in looks or some sort of crazy scandal. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been told that I have a way with words and whether I’m trying to or not, I sort of command a certain level of attention. I even feel weird typing this out right now because it sounds more self absorbed that I’d like to sound, but I feel that it’s the best way to lead into what I’m about to say.

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