she.so.fly / say hello to the badgirl!

Oh boy, today was a trip. Nothing bad but…I think that I’ll reserve at least part of it for Youtube. I owe you guys a video this week anyway.

You know, I think that for now, God wants me to be single as heck. As hell. Whatever. The reason I say that is not b/c I haven’t met anyone worth the time. But I think that right now, my focus is so strong that He is somehow looking out and making sure I maintain that momentum. It gets hard because I’ve never been in a position with actual “business” before everyone else. I’ve also noticed that no matter what pace YOUR life is moving, everybody else has a pace that they’re either trying to catch up to or simply trying to follow. It’s never fair or considerate to ask someone to change their focus just so you can get whatever emotions you need from them. I’m learning that…doesn’t mean I mastered it.

Additionally, I’ve also learned that I actually don’t like guys who “need” me. To want me is one thing but to act as though my time is somehow less important than yours is another. Having recently moved back to Atlanta after a year and a half long hiatus, I’m reacquainting myself with the city I love so much, trying to make sure that the steps that I FEEL have been ordered for me are handled with the patience and diligence they so rightfully deserve. People who can’t understand that are lost. It’s selfish and ridiculous to ask someone to *pause* their life and blessings b/c of YOU and your agenda.

I don’t like that…and I’ll make for damn sure I don’t give off the same energy.

Goodnite.

It’s not my fault if you perceive me as perfect and I let you down…

Another quick message before I go shower this funk off…

As I’ve gotten a “WEE” bit more knowledgeable of the (entertainment) blogging game, one thing that I am learning QUICK is that everybody doesn’t think like I do.

Before I even thought of doing a celebrity entertainment blog, I researched. Yea, it’s human nature for you to want to run to the nearest guru of _____ and ask a million questions if it’s a subject that’s new to you. Now, I’m not saying that NO other blogger did this but I looked at as many aspects of blogging as I could on my own before I started asking questions. I learned in school many years ago that if you don’t look for certain things on your own, allowing yourself to become as knowledgeable about whatever it is that you’re pursuing, then you’re rendering yourself useless to you.

As I said a few days ago in a previous entry, I get asked questions all the time and because I know that “I” had questions, I don’t mind answering them. But I literally grit my teeth when I get asked simple things such as “what blog platform should I use, where do I get pictures from, etc., etc., etc” when those things (plus much more) are available via google.

Now trust me…you’ll never see me be a bitch about it. One thing I can’t stand is an indignant ass ANYTHING that thinks that just b/c they “made it” (which I have not yet…trust me), they have to look down their noses at those who are still trying. But I’m reminded of an old Chinese (I THINK?) proverb:

And it works the same in blogging…if I simply GIVE you answers without you putting in any research of your own, you’ll only learn to come back to me (or another blogger) the next day or the next month with questions regarding your next move. However, if I encourage you to FIRST research on your own, learn about what it is that you’re doing before diving head first into it, then I feel that you’re being empowered for your own future as blogger. Again, asking questions is not the problem…but not trying to find the answer on your own first is.

PS: Please note…I have been blogging since 2004. This is, however, my first time taking the entertainment route and while I’m still learning (much to many people’s disbelief), I still believe in empowering yourself to learn as much as you can BEFORE reaching out to ask questions. No offense meant…I’m just calling it as I see it.

2:03 am and I just completed three assignments that were all due by no later than Wednesday. I was ON it, man. I noticed that I was always turning my assignment in the day that it was due. Our work isn’t due until 3am mountain time (so 5am for me) and I was taking full advantage of that. However, I really decided to pull myself out of that madness for fear of making it a true habit as time progresses. So far, I am truly LOVING online classes and had I know what the deal was months back, I would’ve been in this shit when I FIRST found out about them. Who knew?

Anyway, I have a couple things that I want to look up before I head to bed but I do want to say…make sure you stay tuned to this blog (or MAYBE Youtube, if it’s not deleted) in the months to come. I swear, I’m really going to have to let some things OUT! It’s going to be crazy, I’m sure…but many of you will most certainly be able to relate.

If you don’t like taking pills (laxatives, stool softeners, etc), then I ENCOURAGE you (oh so strongly) to invest in some apple juice. Unless it’s mixed with Sprite, I’m really not into apple juice all that much. However, I was online looking for natural remedies to umm…’stopped-up-edness,’ and found that apple juice is one way to go. I wasn’t trying to fuck with prune juice. Oh, hell naw! I remember my mother forcing me to drink that when I was little to keep me ‘regular,’ but I be damned if I’m going to subject myself to that madness again…on purpose!

Well, let me get to googling all the crap I wrote on my hand while at work today so tha I can carry my butt to bed! I hope you guys had a safe and happy weekend!

Alright…this week has been a busy one. Seriously!

I started a new job and am happy about it b/c I seriously got TIRED of just sitting here and doing nothing b/c I “could.” I have been working for years so it just “felt right” to be able to get up in the morning and have a purpose. I am exhausted though but that’s to be expected, especially considering I hadn’t worked since I left my last job in August.

My classes started today. For those who have fallen behind, I am currently enrolled 100% online at South University. It’s a school based in Savannah, GA but they also hav an online division as well. I have always said that I would do better at online classes but I can see RIGHT NOW that I have to pull out my trusty ‘planner’ and really write down what’s due and when! Two classes are no joke! It’s funny looking at the discussion boards, knowing that we’re required to respond to other students’ postings to be graded. I see the same girl responding to EVERYBODY’s post! LOL! Girl you betta do it! Get your “A” boo boo! LMAO I just turned in three assignments in a matter of an hour or so. They were fairly easy but I’m sure that once we start moving into the meat and potatoes of the course, it’ll be nuts!

That being said, I’m about to be a lame. It’s only 7:30 but I am about to shower and head to bed. I have to be at work at 7am tomorrow, have a doctors appt as SOON as I get off and then have to turn in two assignments! Not the business, but it’s life, right?

Nonetheless, I promise to keep you guys posted and definitely keep up with my blogging! I thank you for reading!

I am so out of it right now, for reasons I refuse to discuss online but I just wanted to pop in and give some updates.

First off, I am tired! And next week, it gets worse! My new quarter of school starts on the 19th (I hate when shit doesn’t start on a Monday…fucks up my spirit). Also, I’m going to attempt to start working on Monday (yes…in addition to my fulltime school schedule). My parents advised me against it but I’ve had a job since I was 13/14 years old. It feels ‘weird’ not working.

Also, I need new stories for my website, Project New Era. As I’ve said many times before, I do not go around pushing this blog, my Youtube channel or anything else in between. But that site is something I do try to heavily endorse, as it serves a REAL purpose and (in my ever so humble opinion) fills somewhat of a void. We need a site like this. I don’t make ANY money off this site. I have been told that I should throw advertisements and things of the like on the site but have refused. I simply want to provide useful information.

I went out with one of my homegirls a couple nights ago. She was my BEST friend in jr. high. I mean we were UBER tight! Made no sense how close we were. Nonetheless, we reconnected and she’s the same girl I remember from way back then, solidifying my reason for loving her from the start!

To everyone else…I am sorry if I have been silent on various IMs, Twitter, Myspace, whatever. Like I said, I am really trying to piece some things together in addition to preparing myself for everything that’s pending for next week. I’m not purposely trying to be negligent…just taking a step back so I can make sure that I remember to breathe! *smiles

I guess that’s it! OH and one other thing…don’t you just love folks who are so miserable with themselves that they try to make you feel as though you should feel the same way about you? Everybody has that type of toxic person in their lives…be it in reality or online. Just brush your shoulders off and keep it moving!

Happy (ending) hump day you guys!

I changed the settings for my blogs in terms of commenting.

I’ve had a blog for I think…almost 5 years. It’s VERY rare that I get a negative comment on my blogs. Believe that or not, I just experience more positive comments or those that cause a debate more than anything else.

However, in going through and approving comments today, I realized that someone made a comment regarding my blog on deadbeat dads and actually said (and I’m paraphrasing) that it’s ‘better for a woman to have a child with a deadbeat than to abort one like you and other women do/did.’

I can’t help but to laugh b/c when people anonymously post comments such as that, create IDs for the sole purpose of being an asshole, you can’t help but to wonder how fucked up their home lives are. It’s not really for me to try and piece together but still…you can’t help but to question it.

But for entertainment purposes (and b/c it’s Friday, woot!), I will entertain that narrow minded viewpoint for a half of a second. I have been extremely open about many aspects of my life, including my decision to abort a child back in 2004. And while I do carry strong emotions regarding that decision, I will say that I definitely…without a DOUBT…did what was best for ME, that child and the sake of my own sanity b/c the father and I are NO longer together and definitely NOT on speaking terms. Even after a brief reconciliation, we fell out again b/c he is choosing to continue to be the same man that made me ridiculously SICK some five years ago. It’s not my job to try and rehabilitate a man or anyone else for that matter. Say whatever you will about the decision…I will say that for that baby’s sake, it’s a good thing that he/she is not here b/c this guy most certainly would’ve been the deadbeat that I spoke ill of HERE.

I dunno what else I have to do to prove it…maybe get it tattooed on my body via chargrilled branding but it takes a LOT to hurt my feelings. A lot! You’ve gotta come MUCH harder than throwing some shit in my face that I’ve already discussed (be it directly or indirectly) to really get under my skin.

It’s good to know that a new year has rolled around and folks are still trying! LOL!

Have a great weekend, folks!

ETA: I changed the settings back. I refuse to change the format of my blog b/c of one damn person! lol HOLLA!

Y’all already know that I am THE number one supporter of the Black community.

I believe that we can do anything b/c we are an amazing group of people with a dynamic that just won’t quit.

But you know what pisses me off about “us?” When some loathsome sorry ass “nigger” does something STUPID in the community and we stand behind them by posting shit like “Free ____.”

What? You serious?

You mean to tell me…that if THIS sorry ass son of a bitch can shoot THIS man in broad damn daylight just to jack his ass over some chump shit, we still need to yell out that he needs to be free?

And you wonder why America doesn’t give us any respect. Black people kill me fighting over the wrong damn thing. We get black folks who kill people for no reason (Deadre Tunstall), who molest children (R. Kelly), who abuse their wives (OJ Simpson) but continue standing behind them like its the “white man” that’s doing them wrong and holding them back from whatever success is out there. If black folks aren’t busy blaming the white man, then they’re blaming the victim….“Oh, those girls were just fast as hell. They knew what they were doing.” Or “Hmph, that white bitch probably got what she deserved. WE LOVE YOU, OJ!”

I love me some TI. But wrong is wrong. That dude had guns that even soldiers in military offices overseas don’t have. He’s going to jail. Get over it! Stop making those dumb ass “Free TI” shirts b/c he is NOT above the law!

Gucci Mayne is another one that I’ve seen a LOT of tees floating around for. I mean seriously…this man is charged with freakin’ murder. And unless his claim of ’self defense’ can be proven, he is a murderer.

For all of you who continue to be on this quest to ‘free the guilty,’ let me ask you…if it was your mother, father, sibling, or friend that one of these people committed a crime against, how quickly would you be hitting up American Apparel so your statement could be felt?

Didn’t think so….

I am making a note to myself to buy Wanted and Hancock on DVD! I love buying DVDs!

I hope everybody is having a great day! I am…or did, considering the day is almost over.

I went to bed at about 6am today (YES, 6 aye-emme) and woke up about noon. I was pissed b/c I like to get my working out done early so it’s…well…done! But I didn’t work out until about 3:30. From there, I had to quickly hop in the shower, wash my hair and slick it back for dinner at 5. I am officially full.

Tomorrow, I enter my 8th week of the Body for Life program and I must say, it’s an amazing program. It has inspired me to do so much more. Seriously. Nonetheless, I will be completely done with the program on December 28th. From there, I will start a new leg of the program. I think it’s going to be required in order for me to see the results I want to see in my legs. Everytime I get to the point where I question whether or not I’ve lost in my lower body, I put on a pair of pants and realize that I have baggy action going on. Like now, for instance…I have on some grey sweats. These sweats use to fit TIGHT as hell in the thighs and the booty. Now? I look like I have on some man’s sweats. Not cute….ah well, new night clothes, I guess. Anyway, if you don’t know anything about the program, definitely check it out!

I posted another excerpt from my book recently on Myspace and the response was overwhelming! I couldn’t believe how many people hit me up, asking for more. I finished the book earlier this year and started going through the editing phase but something didn’t sit well with me with the book, so…I put it away and never really got back to it *shrugs shoulders*. This is going to sound funny as hell and I swear, I better not get clowned for this but…Karrine Steffans has actually inspired me to pick it back up and get it started. I know that a lot of people have their opinions of her (as do I) but one thing NOBODY can deny is the girl is tworking the SHIT out of her ‘celebrity.’ She’s working on her THIRD book right now and already doing what needs to be done to make sure that this book has the same hype and appeal as the first (I heard the 2nd one wasn’t too good. I only read bits and pieces of it). Nonetheless, it’s an inspiration for me.

I am so excited to see y family on Tuesday. I really am! I love those boogerheads to death! LOL My niece was on the phone saying “Tia when you coming home…with my lipgloss?” LOL! That girl uses her auntie so bad!

Well, I guess I’m going to go! It’s only 6pm (close enough) but I’m going to take a Benadryl (or two) and hope that I’m out like a light by about 9. I have so much to do within the next couple of weeks before spring semester starts!*slaps forehead* It’ll get done!

If you haven’t already, don’t forget to add me on Twitter! I love that site and it’s a great way to keep up with what your girl has going on every now and then!

Holla!

So, per the suggestion of Phunky Princess, I checked out a website called Polyvore

It allows you to create your own lil outfits by using various clothing vendors.

I am tired as hell but I wanted to play around with it and will definitely go back just to have some fun!!

This outfit is SO me…perfectly! I am really a jeans and t-shirt type of girl but I will throw on some heels just for the girly effect! Woot!

Thanks, PhunkyP…*spirit fingers*