partial testimony (vid)

I’ve been receiving a lot of feedback about my video and I want to say thank you! In being completely honest with you, the video wasn’t easy for me to do. Before I turned the camera on, I said “Jia, don’t cry. Cuz once you start, you won’t be able to finish the vid.” I had to hold those tears back a little. When speaking of your pain, sadness, shame, hurt, guilt, horrible personality traits, etc., you literally strip yourself naked. And that was VERY hard for me to do. But after having a convo with a friend…literally ministering to her, unsure of where my words would come from, but asking God to guide me….He said that I need to open up more.

I have so much more to tell but this’ll do for now. I don’t expect any of this to be easy, but I’m grateful that some of you have benefited from my words. Or even if nothing I said was relatable to you and your life, you at least have an explanation (not an EXCUSE) as to why I was…am…was…the way I was…am. I’m still being worked on. I still feel like snatching people by the follicles for trying me. But God is working on me so hard that I FOR REAL think before I speak now. I didn’t do that before. My mouth was the toughest thing for me to get under control. I gave it to Him, promised Him I’d try, and He’s already working in my life. He’s probably doing it so quickly b/c He knew He’d have to do a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd shift job on me. LOL

Nonetheless, thank all of you for watching and taking whatever you could from it. I’m sure there will be somebody out there who will try to make me feel like trash because of this video but eh…it is what it is. Can’t please everybody. As long as God is happy with my tries, I couldn’t care less about anybody else. No shade though.

Appreciate all of yall & God bless.

arrogance & immaturity =/= keeping it real

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I decided against doing my initial blog on making amends being more for you than the other person. I prayed about it. I got my answer. It is what it is. I also didn’t want to say anything that I’d later regret. I’ve taken several blog posts down (really, all of them) b/c many were out of line, and although they illustrate what I felt at that moment, that doesn’t mean that I have the right to cause any more hurt to anyone who may have been pained by my words in the past.

What I will say is this:

(more…)

honesty.

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I have to remind myself sometimes that giving everyone the benefit of the doubt doesn’t always work when emotions are involved. I think that’s part of the price you pay with being the type of person who at least tries to see as much “good” as possible instead of assuming up front that everything is all bad.

I won’t make this long or drawn out but something just came to me and hit me like a ton of bricks. I was feeling bad at one point about something very particular. And as I’m sitting here working on something totally unrelated, something said ‘the intention wasn’t good.’ It was on repeat over and over again.

So I researched to see what the Bible says about people with ill intentions + praying for those who abuse you in any manner. Above is what I came up with. And that’s all.

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