relationship reflections, starring brandy norwood

Spending the rest of my night working on some things for my next project and listening to music. For two days straight, I’ve been in a Brandy coma…listening to all of her oldest music. She’s a ridiculously underrated vocalist, and a LOT of people don’t want to give her props on how awesome her voice is because they’re busy comparing her to other artists. Not fair.

Anyway, I’m sitting here listening to Put That on Everything (album: Never Say Never) on repeat. Even though I’m KNOWN for flubbing lyrics, I can understand her perfectly. In this song, she talks about doing the impossible for someone who clearly has her heart wrapped in a nice bow and tucked in his pocket. As I’m listening to the lyrics, I began to think.

I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone on some Brandy, Put That on Everything type shit. Not sure if I want to. That’s a lot.

I’ve definitely been in love before. I’ve definitely loved someone because it was the comfortable thing to do, at the moment. It was more comfortable to love them than not. But on Put That on Everything type stuff? Never ever experienced that.

During the endings of my relationships, I think w/MOST (not all), I hurt because I was losing that comfort & not because I was losing the person.

Does that make sense? In SOME cases when I wanted to go back to them, it was because I wasn’t comfortable with finding someone else or being alone.

I’m definitely going to expound on this a bit in a with love, Jia newsletter. It brings to mind a few questions…

Are we afraid to love?

Just how much are you willing to submit, for the purpose of a put that on everything kinda love?

Are we capable of being alone?

to be continued……

blessed are the loyal


Loyalty is more than just a word that you sound out with your mouth. It’s an action that I’ve found means far more than anything audible to the ears. Saying it doesn’t mean shit. It never has. But it’s arguably one of the most overused words that people rarely understand the meaning of. Or maybe people get it, but just don’t care.


this goes out to you…and you….


‘Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.’

Before a couple years ago, I had never heard this quote before. As many of you know, I have somewhat of an unsavory past that includes a lot of drugs, tons of drinking, and even a stint in the adult industry. I remember talking to a really good friend of mine and feeling as though I had nothing to live for…as though I’d never have the opportunity to do anything with myself because I temporarily bent the needle on my moral compass. As I’m crying and asking myself ‘how could you be so stupid,’ she offered me that quote. Initially, I was taken aback like ‘Hey, girl…you calling me a sinner?’ Defiling and giving my body away could indeed be considered ‘sinful,’ but I had to take in the context of what she said instead of looking at it literally or as an insult. After having that conversation, I put myself on a mission. Even though I literally had a ‘friend’ of mine ask me ‘Well, what else are you gonna do? You might as well continue on in that life because it’s pretty much curtains for you from here on out,’ I was determined to prove her and everyone else wrong.


thoughts from a blogger, on blogging

Aww. The picture’s gone but here’s a snapshot of what my blog,, use to look like.

I literally took a template that I found online (pink, 3rd pic…Flourish) and changed it. As corny as it may sound, I remember literally calling my friend, Sean, and crying about how “hard” it was to change basic HTML and make it my own. At the time, I was working a job where I was making $10.75 an hour and usually working 10+ hours a day. I couldn’t afford a decent web designer, so I figured I’d try to do something myself. Not much but it wasn’t “horrible” for that time and with all considered. Over the years, however, my presentation has become a little more strict so that old look definitely wouldn’t fly with me now.


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